Archive for August, 2009

District 9

Sunday, August 30th, 2009

I guess shooting at Wilford Brimley is the proper training method for stemming an alien invasion.A few years ago, when it was leaked that Peter Jackson was handed the Halo license and told to go to town on it, I was cautiously optimistic that I would eventually wind up seeing a 9-hour trilogy (and a 16-hour “director’s cut”) that would be equal parts amazing and excessive, and feature at least a couple of homoerotic bedroom scenes with Master Chief and The Arbiter. Unfortunately (fortunately?), Microsoft stepped in and demanded a level of script control that Jackson was uncomfortable with (because if there’s anything M$ knows, it’s how to control script kiddies…but I digress), and we were forever denied the wonder of a slow-motion pillow fight between a 10-foot-tall cyborg and a semi-generic alien. Truth be told, I don’t know that a Halo movie is really the videogame property most deserving of a movie treatment; I couldn’t explain the plots to Halos 1 and 2 if I tried, and I played both through to completion. (more…)

The Brothers Bloom

Thursday, August 27th, 2009

So many RAAAAIIIINDROPS...fallin' in my EYES, EYES...Sometimes movies get so close to being perfect that when they fall short of the perfection they hope to attain, they fall farther and harder than a movie that doesn’t even try. The sophomore effort of Rian Johnson, director of my favorite movie of 2005, Brick, is just such a movie. That isn’t to say that The Brothers Bloom is a bad movie–in fact, it has moments of greatness. It isn’t even to say that it’s an uneven movie–the first two acts build a convincing and sometimes beautiful world full of entertaining and fantastical characters. What it is, is a movie that changes gears so abruptly between the second and third acts that the audience is left lurching like a driving-school Dodge Omni with a 5-speed and a worn-out clutch. (more…)

GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra

Monday, August 10th, 2009

Yeah. That's a recruiting poster, all right.If you had shown me GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra when I was 12 years old, it would have usurped The Empire Strikes Back as my favorite movie of all time. (more…)